pattiglolt

I am so fucking sick of this emotional roller coaster.

I am so fucking angry at my sister for being a superior bitch.

I am hurt that I am not being asked to help pick out the picture of my dad to go in the obituary.

Who the fuck does she think she is.

I am a RECOVERING addict. I have not used drugs in 11 years.

I have not drank in 23 months and 12 days.

My past does NOT make me who I am today; no matter how much she says it does.

UGH

I am so tired. I am sick of this emotional roller coaster I am on. I am tired of other ppl trying to lay their guilt on me and do their grief about my dad. He as my dad. My sister; my niece and I are the ones who lost the most.

I am sick of my sister treating me like shit too. UGH

I miss dad so very much.

Twenty plus 1 Healthy Ways To Manage Stress In Recovery

•Talk to someone you trust.

•Learn to accept what you cannot change.

•Avoid self medication.

•Get enough sleep to recharge your batteries.

•Take time out to play.

•Do something for others.

•Take one thing at a time.

•Agree with somebody.

•Manage your time better.

•Plan ahead.

•If you are ill, don’t try and carry on as if you’re not.

•Develop a hobby.

•Listen to music.

•Eat sensibly and exercise.

•Don’t put off relaxing.

•Don’t be afraid to say no.

•Know when you are tired and do something about it.

•Delegate responsibility.

•Be realistic about perfection

•Don’t use no matter what.

Twelve Steps of Emotions Anonymous

1.We admitted we were powerless over our emotions – that our lives had become unmanageable.

2.Came to believe that aPower greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5.Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

THUMB - The woman explained: “Before I pray, I hold my hand up in front of my face, with my thumb pointing back toward me. The thumb reminds me to pray for those closest to me–my family, my friends, my neighbours.”

INDEX FINGER – Wiggling her index finger, she continued: “Teachers used to point at us in school, so as I come to this finger, I pray for those who have been my teachers and spiritual leaders.

MIDDLE FINGER – My middle finger is the largest one. This brings to mind the leaders of our country. So I pray for them.

RING FINGER – The next finger is called the weak finger. When I come to it, I think of the weak, the sick, those who are poor and need help.”

LITTLE FINGER – Coming to the last finger-the little finger-she concluded: “Last is my little finger, which stands for me. That’s when I finish praying for myself and my needs.”

http://recoveryissexy.com/5-finger-prayer/

Today you may have to brush up on projecting confidence that you really don't feel, all in the name of getting ahead. You may find that a setback you suffer is really short term, so pay it no mind. You will only make things harder by worrying, and worry will accomplish nothing.

You are moving forward with a romantic initiative and results are starting to show. But don't let up now that things are developing. You must keep working hard to achieve your goals.

Someone in your family may disapprove of the way you spend your free time, or the way you raise your children. They may let you know in rather blunt terms. Getting into an argument is not productive. Tell them "You are right, and I'm going to keep doing things my way, anyway."

Just as things are speeding up on the professional front, things are slowing down on the personal front, with a different approach required for each and a definite need for some real boundaries. At the same time that Mars, planet of passion, is slowing down in your romantic sector, getting ready to turn direct in 2 weeks time, Saturn is also slowing down in your relationship sector, getting ready to turn retrograde in the New Year. This makes it important to approach both your love life and your relationships slowly and it's by not rushing things that you're able to focus more on quality, than on how fast you're able to process from Point A to Point B. This makes it more about the journey than the destination, with the promise of second chances ahead.

After what seems forever, things are finally starting to move on the career front as Mercury, planet of communication and smart thinking, spends his first full day in your career sector on Monday. It's the sense that something was about to happen, that has been hanging over you for some time, that has made things so frustrating and what brings such a clear sense of relief this week. Mercury is a smart and strategic planet and joining up with Pluto for only the second time ever, you're ready to make things happen. With Pluto calling for change, the North Node providing a clear sense of direction and the brains to pull it off, this is the week when 2 of your most important career months ever, finally hits the road.

When Venus, planet of desire and money, left your financial sector last week she brought to an end all the activity either of your money houses will see for the year. This doesn't mean that the bottom is going to drop out of your financial situation, only that the stars have already invested all that they need to, in order for you to take it from here. It's now that they've passed the ball to you that you need to step up your game, knowing that you're not going to get any free rides. It's the financial desires that Venus left you with that will continue to motivate you, so hold onto them. As new career doors begin opening, these same financial desires are also likely to be influencing your professional choices and decisions. Set your goal posts in concrete and stand your ground.

Friendship~ like every relationship~ is a two way street. AND Expectations are resentments waiting to happen. Re evaluating ppl and there roles in my life today

 
Change happens~  all the time.  I am learning to live with change. 

I have found someone very special.  I truly believe that he is "him".  All my life I have searched for "him".  I am nervous.  I dont do relationships.  I sabatoge relationships; cuz dont ya know i always fuck them up.  I got honest about that with him. I told him all about my past relationships and how I feel responsible for there failures; and ultimately that they are my failures. 

He accepts me as I am; and he told me he loves me AS I AM.    Hello, do not wake me if I am dreaming. 

Reality is this... I am going for this 1000%.  I have nothing to tie me to my home town.  I can visit and call whenever I want.  Flagging is not a career.  I llive paycheck to paycheck and I am sick of it. 

So I am going to walk through my fear and meet it head on; and have a life with "him".  He wants forever, so do I.    I deserve this. 

Rest in Peace Virgil W.  You were loved and will be missed.  This disease is cunning, baffeling and powerful; and I see time and time again people who forget that loose the battle.  WITH THEIR LIFE